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September, 7, 2006

The Definition of Friendship

How to tell a friend from an acquaintance

Over the course of a life time, we have the opportunity to meet hundreds of people. Many are acquaintances but few are friends. Sometimes we make the mistake of confusing the two. It comes down to honesty and commitment. Without either, the relationship can be defined as one of acquaintance. Unfortunately, the test of true friendship comes at the worse of times.  

“The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity”. Ulysses S. Grant 1822-1885, American General, President

In all relationships, honesty is essential. It helps build trust and understanding. Words by themselves mean little if they are not backed by action. A friend will always be there but an acquaintance is unable to commit.    

While family is found by chance, friends are made by choice. This is why our friends are a reflection of who we really are. A person with character stands clear of those without. A true friend is a person of character.    

Building a friendship takes time and cannot be rushed. The relationship must be mutual but sometimes is unequal. It’s ebb and flow which changes depending on the circumstances. The key is to love your friend like a brother (or sister) without measuring or comparing what they do for you. Unlike an acquaintance, a true friend will feel the same about you.     

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation”.  George Washington

Now that you understand the definition of friendship, make your choices few and make them wisely. It is always better to have one real friend who you can count instead of many “friends” who are nothing more than acquaintances.    

“Friendship is held to be the severest test of character. It is easy, we think, to be loyal to a family and clan, whose blood is in your own veins. Love between a man and a woman is founded on the mating instinct and is not free from desire and self-seeking. But to have a friend and to be true under any and all trials is the mark of a man!” Charles Alexander Eastman